If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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