i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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