i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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