He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
