I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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