I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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