I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Alive.
So much puke
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
