I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he puts the penis in happiness.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize