i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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