your thong is hanging out like whoa
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
