I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
