And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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