Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Houston, we have a squirter
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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