I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
