Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
