You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
