this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
