she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
