Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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