apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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