i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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