Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
