my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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