im gay
i know
yea but for you.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
