I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
