he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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