smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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