If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
