Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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