If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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