There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
