i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
