Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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