Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
