I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
