Your face is a jimmy john
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
