maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
True college students do jello shots in the library
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