Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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