Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
