K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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