I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
