Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
