i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
