Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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