there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
