it wasn't lemon gatorade
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize