The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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