I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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