Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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