He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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