So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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