Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
