after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
