is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
