Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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