their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish you could order shots online.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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