Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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