4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
