Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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