my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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