she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
