i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
