Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize