You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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