Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
